Overthinking

“Breaking Free From the Prison of Our Minds”

Why We Stay in Our Heads

Many people recognise the familiar cycle of overthinking: a constant hum of mental activity that replays past events, imagines future scenarios or analyses situations from every possible angle. Although this habit may seem like a way to problem-solve, it often serves as a barrier, keeping us disconnected from our emotions. Overthinking, intellectualising and rationalising are more than just thought patterns; they act as a shield that protects us from confronting discomfort, pain and vulnerability. Rather than engaging with these feelings, we immerse ourselves in thought, keeping emotions at bay and providing a temporary escape from the discomfort they might bring. Yet, this constant intellectual activity does not resolve the underlying feelings and can often leave us feeling just as anxious, stressed and disconnected from ourselves.

In this article, I propose that overthinking is a protective mechanism and will examine how our minds use thought to avoid emotions. I will explore how this disconnection affects our mental and physical health and share ways to gradually move from overthinking to connecting with our emotions. Ultimately, learning to sit with our feelings, rather than avoiding them, can bring us closer to a more grounded, resilient and harmonious connection with ourselves.

The Mind’s Escape Mechanism: Protecting Ourselves Through Thought

Overthinking can feel productive. Many of us believe that by analysing situations or playing out scenarios, that we are preventing mistakes or controlling outcomes. However, overthinking often keeps us stuck in a loop, processing thoughts but not emotions. This habit can keep us from addressing the discomfort or pain that might come up if we allowed ourselves to truly feel what is happening within. Our minds, in an attempt to protect us from vulnerability, engage in a non-stop cycle of intellectualising and rationalising, which serves to distract us from the discomfort within our minds and bodies.

For many of us, emotions can feel overwhelming, especially if we have learned to suppress or avoid them over time. I believe it is often safer to turn to thoughts than to sit with challenging feelings, because the act of thinking provides a sense of control. The brain, in response to this discomfort, races with thoughts that shield us from the reality of our feelings, allowing us to keep painful or difficult emotions at a distance. This constant mental noise may feel like it is keeping us safe; however, it often leads to more mental noise, as well as anxiety and stress, because we are not actually addressing the root of what is happening. This pattern of avoiding emotions through overthinking can leave us feeling disconnected from the very wisdom of our body and the balance that comes with a truly integrated self.

Grounding the Mind through Breath: Using the Body to Break Free from Thought Loops

When we find ourselves stuck in cycles of overthinking, using the body as an anchor can help bring us to reconnect with our physical self. Practising box breathing and deep breathe work can calm the nervous system, encourage feelings of safety and help us transition from being “in our head” to being fully present in our body.

Box Breathing

Box breathing is a structured breathing technique that helps regulate the nervous system, creating a steady rhythm that signals safety to the brain.

1. Inhale slowly through the nose for a count of four.

2. Hold the breath for four counts.

3. Exhale gently through the mouth for four counts.

4. Pause and hold for another four counts.

Repeat this cycle several times, focusing on the breath’s rhythm. This method not only shifts attention away from spiralling thoughts but also sends calming signals to the nervous system.

Deep Breath Work

Deep breathing helps you engage the diaphragm, bringing in more oxygen and soothing the body.

1. Place one hand on your abdomen and the other on your chest.

2. Inhale deeply through the nose, allowing the abdomen to expand as you draw in air.

3. Slowly exhale through the mouth, feeling the abdomen gently contract.

As you practise, focus on the sensation of the breath moving through the body. Deep breathing enhances connection to the physical self, grounding you and quietening mental noise. These breathing practices not only ease the nervous system but also cultivate a sense of safety, helping you move from mental loops into a more embodied state, where you can approach your experience from a place of calm presence.

The Path to Connection: Replacing Thought with Feeling

Breaking free from these habitual thought loops requires us to begin accessing the experience of our emotions directly. Learning to sit with feelings, even when they are uncomfortable, can be challenging but rewarding. The goal is not to force ourselves to feel everything all at once, which is a common misconception but rather to build a gradual capacity to sit with our emotions in a safe and supported way. When we allow ourselves to experience these feelings without distraction, we show our nervous system that it is safe to feel. This process is facilitated by neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to create new neural pathways in response to experiences. Through regular practice, we can encourage the brain to form new connections, actively rewiring it to become more comfortable with emotional experiences. With regular practice, this shift lessens our need to distract ourselves through overthinking, helping us to better handle feelings and situations we once found difficult to face.

Over time, we gradually teach our nervous system that emotions are not something to fear. As the mind, brain and body start to accept that emotions are safe to experience, the grip of old, protective patterns begins to loosen. This growing capacity for emotional resilience brings a sense of grounding and calm, enhancing our connection to our own mental and physical strength. Rather than being overwhelmed by emotions, we learn to meet them with openness, which deepens our connection to our true selves.

Cultivating a New Relationship with Ourselves

Breaking free from the cycle of overthinking requires time, patience and a commitment to becoming comfortable with our emotions. By moving from the intellectual realm of constant thought into the lived experience of feeling, we begin to untangle ourselves from the protective mechanisms that have kept us disconnected from our inner world. Learning to stay with our emotions helps us cultivate a new relationship with ourselves, one that is resilient, grounded and trusting in the wisdom of both our mind and body.

As we shift our focus from intellectualising our way through life to fully engaging with our emotions, we start to replace the anxiety and stress of overthinking with a deeper, calmer understanding of ourselves. In doing so, we empower ourselves to live in a state of genuine connection and vitality, where we are no longer imprisoned by our minds and ruled by the mental noise that once held us back. Instead of avoiding emotions, we embrace them as essential parts of our experience, leading to a fuller and richer life.